The precious items, safely recovered from darkness and dread

NANGO -- (Lovely Nango News) A Lovely Nango woman narrowly avoided disaster this morning, when the simple cleaning of her family toilet became an ordeal of shock and horror.

The woman, 41, was scrubbing the bowl when she saw her wedding ring, which she typically wears strung on a bracelet, drop into the roiling maelstrom of filth she was in the process of flushing. Horrified, she looked down to discover that the bracelet was nowhere to be seen.

Woman, 41, comforted by son, 10, as she recovers from shock

"I don't care how it looks, our crapper is not Orodruin [Mount Doom]".

- Husband

Rushing from the scene of the horror, she informed her husband of the situation. He responded by urging calm, and going back to the book he was reading.

The woman recovered her ring with an ease that seemed to suggest that it wanted to be found. The bracelet, however, which was also precious to her, did not turn up, despite her repeated and harrowing efforts with rubber gloves and chopsticks.

The happy couple - before calamity struck

The mouth of doom - almost

The day was unexpectedly saved, however, when the woman, all hope lost and in a daze, absent-mindedly scratched her ass - only to discover her bracelet there, in her underpants!

"I can only imagine that I was scratching it [her ass] before, and my bracelet came undone," she admitted shame-facedly, as her husband and son rolled on the floor, cackling hysterically.

The scene of the loss and recovery